Monday, June 19, 2006

Why I hate these Motherfucking Bitchies Who Claim too be better than use

I am very angry right now, so I'll offer you a prayer, may all programmers die and burn in hell Engineer's are the stupidiest of people and yet the supposedy run our lives,may god have mercy on their souls because we will not.

Hair Pin

Much has happened since my last blog. none theless I am the same Scott. Any way since I'm talking again I thought I'd tell you about my most recent trip. Portland is awsome and truly a credit to those who do not belive that all of the US shoould be distrioeed Post haste. Any who I'll telly'all more late, but sufice it to say I'am back.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Scary Shit

Well I know it's been a while so I thought now was as good a time as any to put something up new. At the moment it's about a quarter past midnight and I'm drinking coffee and typing on my computer. No, I wasn't magiacaly transported back to high school, rather after a quite evening by myself cooking and watching the Aviator my family arrived home and my stepmom asked me if I could take my little brother Jay and his cousin Catherine in to the woods behind their house to roast marshmallows. Any who, long story short it turned out to be really fun, even though we were just sitting down in the woods eighty feet from the house I actually enjoyed spending an hour and a half sitting aroud a fire with an eleven year old and a his twelve year old cousin. Now I know this should be scary enough right? I mean Scott developing paternal inclinations! But here's what makes it really fucked up. I am also apparently a pedophile. Don't worry I haven't jumped any young boys yet, but I have been rather shocked in the past couple of weeks by two distinct, but nonetheless disturbing occurances.The first happened at church when a girl beside me in line complimented me on my shoes. After the half dozen words that followed her compliment my step mother took it upon herself to introduce me to this girl and her older sister, which at the time I though reenforced my belieff that my family is secretly Jewish. (We actually went to a Chinese buffet once on Christmas day) But then while my stepmom was telling me what good girls they were I realized that the one I'd initally thought was kinda cute was also about fifteen. ( I have on subsequent occasions concluded I probably whould have realized this at the time were I not so hung-over) The second and by far more terrifying pedophile moment came when on walking past an open Knoxville News Sentinel I noticed the picture of a rather attractive young woman at the top of the page, vaguely curious I read the caption which went something like, "Webb eighth grader...," now that is ROYALLY fucked up. So there you have it folks not only do I want to be a dad, but apparently I also want to shag barely pubescent girls. It seems my feeling that we might secretly be Jewish was wrong, apparently I'm a Mormom.

More crazy shit to come,

-Scott

Scary Shit

Well I know it's been a while so I thought now was as good a time as any to put something up new. At the moment it's about a quarter past midnight and I'm drinking coffee and typing on my computer. No, I wasn't magiacaly transported back to high school, rather after a quite evening by myself cooking and watching the Aviator my family arrived home and my stepmom asked me if I could take my little brother Jay and his cousin Catherine in to the woods behind their house to roast marshmallows. Any who, long story short it turned out to be really fun, even though we were just sitting down in the woods eighty feet from the house I actually enjoyed spending an hour and a half sitting aroud a fire with an eleven year old and a his twelve year old cousin. Now I know this should be scary enough right? I mean Scott developing paternal inclinations! But here's what makes it really fucked up. I am also apparently a pedophile. Don't worry I haven't jumped any young boys yet, but I have been rather shocked in the past couple of weeks by two distinct, but nonetheless disturbing occurances.The first happened at church when a girl beside me in line complimented me on my shoes. After the half dozen words that followed her compliment my step mother took it upon herself to introduce me to this girl and her older sister, which at the time I though reenforced my belieff that my family is secretly Jewish. (We actually went to a Chinese buffet once on Christmas day) But then while my stepmom was telling me what good girls they were I realized that the one I'd initally thought was kinda cute was also about fifteen. ( I have on subsequent occasions concluded I probably whould have realized this at the time were I not so hung-over) The second and by far more terrifying pedophile moment came when on walking past an open Knoxville News Sentinel I noticed the picture of a rather attractive young woman at the top of the page, vaguely curious I read the caption which went something like, "Webb eighth grader...," now that is ROYALLY fucked up. So there you have it folks not only do I want to be a dad, but apparently I also want to shag barely pubescent girls. It seems my feeling that we might secretly be Jewish was wrong, apparently I'm a Mormom.

More crazy shit to come,

-Scott

Friday, April 29, 2005

It's a good spot

"My dad was convinced there was a Japanese sniper on the roof next door." thatdoesn't actualy have anything to do with this blog, I'm just watching the Office at the moment, and not the shitty American rip off, any who what I was really writing about is the approaching graduation of some of my friends, this really is just getting back to the fact that I still in fact have no real plan in life. I certainly don't want to whine about it but nonetheless I am still a bit worried, as it seems like I could find some sort of direction by now. Any who what this is really getting to is that I finally feel that I am desperate enough that I have actually applied to go to China and teach ESL. I know it's hackeyened but I'm afraid it's come to this.

See you soon,

-The Scott

Tom Cruise

So that's Tom Cruise's effect on life.

You figure it out!

-Scott

poop

So I finally slept with a girl. This should be good news, but unfortunantly she was of a differnt species, and fortunantly "sleeping" didn't involve sex. No I slept with my dad's puppy Mona, who not long after agreeably cuddling with a very drunk Scott decided to shit all over the floor. in fact Mona has been doing quite a lot of shitting, and between her and Tim's Beija it seems lik I've spent the past two weeks cleaning up poop. Any who Mike's neighbor left the fucking alarm on on the dryer and it's four in the morning, this of course dosen't bother me, but you know the principal.

ciao,

-Scott

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Crap

So I was fired today. that is crap, first off because this was the worst place anyone could possibly work. I don't mind being fired, I in fact rather like it, because those fucker's shouldn't live. Well now you say, why exactly did they fire you? Well apparently I took my drug test, but not at exactly the right time. So any way, those bastard's don't have a conseption of privacy, and more importantly I was never told that I had an appointment, rather that I should do it sometime soon. So any who this is clearly not, even remotly, a well run organization, but more importantly it shows why I shouldn't try to degrade myself by working for an American, fuck them all.


Yeah I'm pissed on multiple levels, fuck it!



-Scott

Sunday, April 03, 2005

smoking

So I should not smoke. Whilst you read this I'm sure you're thinking, but Scott you love cigars, true. Yet, what I'm referring to is the other kind of smoking, and I did that last night, from a gigantic blunt. Just so everyone knows this is the second time EVER that I have smoked. And it totally destroyed me, I passed out at eleven, Mike tried to carry me to the tent, but as I am much larger than him he was forced to drop me, apparently out of the side door, so as far as I know I fell from a step two or three feet above ground flat on my face without noticing. Also, this morning, my pants and shirt were on top of my tent (?). This isn't a very good blog, but just so you know, don't offer me weed.

'till later,

-Scott
P.S. I got a job!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

pictures

I spent the afternoon walking around Knoxville with Mike taking pictures, something I have indirectly wanted to do for a while. First off I do not own a camera, or rather I own two that are in boxes in a basement a thousand miles away. More importantly neither of them is digital. This last constraint is a big one, because I don't actually have a desire to take pictures, just to have them, and given my rather bohemian existance and with the great distances that seperate myself from most of the people I love printed images are pretty useless any way. I suppose what this really comes down to is that recently I've realized I'll never have everyone I want to share an experince, or more accuratly my life, with around at once. This is, I think, a good thing. I don't necissarily want, for example, my mom with me while I'm hitting on a young woman at a party, or getting drunk with my friends. Yet, it is also a huge problem in that I interact with all of my friends, both individuals, and groups of friends totally differently. This is why I'm always a little uncomfotable in church when they talk about wearing two faces, "two," I think "I've worn four today alone." the fact that I always express myself differntly dosen't bother me, but the fact that I have to try to explain these differences to my various friends does. Each of my friends knows me based on what they've seen of me and what we've done together, not from an autobiographical bio they've read. Because of this I sometimes wish I had a camera filming myself constantly; if nothing else maybe I'd begin to understand who I am. I unfortunantly can't do that, at least not without letting Fox edit it (and I think we can all agree nobody no matter how well adjusted is likely to emerge from that with fewer that a dozen major psychoses) however I think this stupid ranting online to myself might go somewhere in the right direction. If nothing else I know a whole lot more pictures will help.

Next time I see you we'll take pictures.

-Scott

Thursday, March 24, 2005

burger nights

So as all of the people who would ever read this page already know the Cumberland Grill has a special on their "gourmet" burgers on wednsday nights, which many of us usualy partake of. And as most of you would also know this week is the University of Tennessee's spring break. That means most of the people who'd be burger night regulars are gone. However I am proud to say that in spite of spring break we still managed an eight person party (this is around our normal number). Now I know this dosen't seem worth writing about, but as something else out of the ordinary happened that very night and I feel it worthy or mention. That something else was that for the first time (to my knowledge) Kenny joined us for the traditional "getting smashed at Mike's" after party. So Kenny was there you say what's so great about that? Well, I'll tell you, first off Kenny brought Negro Modelo (by far the best beer I've EVER seen him drink) and second he played the cello. That's right not only did we totally defy the pressures of spring break, but we also made Kenny not merely presentable, but perhaps even cultured. Here's to you Kenny, drink up!

"Short and sweet, that's very Japanese I like that"

-Scott

P.S. The quote isn't from Scott (please don't sue me Sofia)
P.P.S The quote "getting smashed at Mike's" is mine